Spacecat

One morning Amber was bored. She had watched all her holovid movies, done all her homework and finished all her games.

"Maybe you could help me with the laundry," Spacecat said. "Or the ironing. Or watering the plants. I've got a hundred jobs to do that I could use a hand with."

Unlike Amber, Spacecat had no time to be bored.

"No thanks," Amber said.

"I thought not," said Spacecat.

Spacecat wasn't really a cat. He was an alien, but as he looked like a cat and lived in space, his human family called him "Spacecat". He didn't mind this even though it was a silly name.

Spacecat's species never got bored on their planet as they were always too busy fighting each other or killing their food.

Spacecat left the room to vacuum the five miles of corridor on the ship.

"You know," said Amber. "You should really get the robots to do that."

'Your dad switched them off,' said Spacecat.

The robots had got a bug and had tried to kill everybody on the ship. Amber's dad had kept them switched off until he could fix the bug, but he had been too busy to fix it since then because he had no robots.

'I'm still bored,' Amber said.

'I'll tell your dad when he gets back,' Spacecat said.

Amber's dad had left the ship for a few days to buy some fuel cells and provisions and get away from Amber.

'I hate you, you never listen,' Amber said.

Half an hour later, Amber popped her head round the door and said:

'I'm just leaving the ship for a while.'

'That's nice,' Spacecat answered.

'You suck,' Amber said.

Half an hour later, Spacecat said:

'Jeeves.'

Jeeves was the ship's computer.

'Yes Sir,' said Jeeves.

'Did Amber say she was leaving the ship?' Spacecat asked.

'Yes Sir,' said Jeeves.

'We're in space,' Spacecat said.

'Yes Sir,' said Jeeves. 'Mistress Amber took an explorapod and left the ship twenty-five minutes ago.'

There were six exploration pods on board the ship. They were quite small but very fast.

'Are you um, are you um er are you sure?' Spacecat asked.

Spacecat was usually very calm, but only when things didn't go wrong.

'She is not in any of the rooms on the ship,' Jeeves answered. 'And also, she left the ship in an explorapod like I just told you.'

'But Amber doesn't know how to fly those pods,' Spacecat said.

'Yes she does,' said Jeeves.

'No she doesn't,' said Spacecat.

'Yes she does,' said Jeeves. 'Her father gave her lessons in case of emergencies.'

'Well then, he's just caused an emergency,' Spacecat said.

'Yes Sir,' said Jeeves.

'Bother it!' said Spacecat.

Spacecat tried to call Amber's dad on the communicator but there was no answer. Amber's dad didn't like to be called when he was on missions. He also didn't like to talk to Spacecat when he was on the ship because Spacecat usually wanted to talk about Amber being a nuisance.

Spacecat decided to leave Amber's dad a message and go and get her back. He couldn't find a pen so he used Tomato ketchup from the kitchen and wrote on the bathroom mirror.

Spacecat got into Explorapod 1 and tried to take off. It was difficult to operate the pod as he was quite small and had trouble reaching the controls.

'Which way did she go?' he asked Mini-Jeeves.

Every explorapod had a mini-Jeeves on board.

'The other way,' said Mini-Jeeves.

'You're doing that wrong,' said Mini-Jeeves.

'You should have your belt on,' said Mini-Jeeves. 'It's very unsafe to fly without one.'

'Would you like a cup of tea?' said Mini-Jeeves.

'Be quiet,' said Spacecat.

An hour later, Spacecat said:

'Mini-Jeeves, what are those things banging on the hull?'

'They're asteroids Sir,' Mini-Jeeves said.

'Is that what those rocks are on the viewscreen?' Spacecat asked.

'Yes Sir,' said Mini-Jeeves. 'That is what asteroids look like.'

'Why are we in an asteroid field?' Spacecat asked.

'Because you flew us into one,' said Mini-Jeeves.

'Why didn't you stop me?' asked Spacecat.

'Because you told me to be quiet,' said Mini-Jeeves.

'There is a 99-1 chance that you will be destroyed by an asteroid,' said Mini-Jeeves. 'Would you like me to take control of the pod?'

'Go on then,' said Spacecat.

There was a loud "BANG!"

'What was that?' asked Spacecat.

'We've been hit,' said Mini-Jeeves. 'By a big asteroid.'

'But you said the odds were 99-1 if I flew,' Spacecat said.

'And only 64-1 if I flew,' said Mini-Jeeves.

'Where are we going?' asked Spacecat.

'We're going to land on that planet,' said Mini-Jeeves.

'I didn't ask you to land there,' said Spacecat.

'I'm not doing this on purpose,' said Mini-Jeeves. 'That asteroid that hit us broke the controls.'

The explorapod landed on the planet, very, very hard.

'Ow!' said Spacecat.

'It's a good job that was water we landed in,' said Mini-Jeeves.

'I hate water,' said Spacecat.

Spacecat had to swim to dry land, which he didn't like at all. He took Mini-Jeeves with him.

'It's a good job I'm waterproof,' said Mini-Jeeves.

Fortunately, there was land nearby.

'Hello Spacecat,' said Amber.

'Amber,' said Spacecat. 'How did you get here?'

'I got hit by an asteroid,' said Amber. 'And had to land here.'

'Oh,' said Spacecat.

'I'm so glad you're here, Amber said. 'Can we get off this planet please? I'll never, ever run away again.'

'Where's your explorapod?' Spacecat asked.

'Under water,' said Amber. 'It got hit by an asteroid and stopped working.'

'Bother it!' said Spacecat.

'So what do we do now?' Amber asked.

'I have to punish you for running off,' Spacecat said.

'Are you being serious?' Amber asked. 'We're stuck on an alien planet.'

'And it's your fault,' said Spacecat. 'So no holovids for you for a month.'

'I'd watched them all anyway,' Amber said.

'And no games.'

'I'd finished them all.'

'I'll think of something,' Spacecat said.

Amber and Spacecat's explorapods were both damaged and underwater.

'We need to send a message to your dad,' said Spacecat.

'We don't have a transmitter,' said Amber.

'What's that in your hand?' Spacecat asked.

'That's my music player,' said Amber. 'It's got 1000 songs on it.'

'You didn't bring a transmitter,' said Spacecat.

'No,' said Amber.

'You didn't bring a first-aid kit,' said Spacecat.

'No,' said Amber.

'You didn't bring a gun,' said Spacecat.

'No,' said Amber.

'You brought a music player,' said Spacecat.

'I like music,' said Amber.

'Give me that music player,' Spacecat said.

'What? No,' said Amber.

'Hand it over,' said Spacecat. 'I've decided on your punishment for running away.'

'We're here because I got bored,' Amber said. 'So you're going to punish me by making me more bored?'

'I can smack your bottom if you'd like,' Spacecat said.

'I'll tell Dad if you do,' Amber said.

'Do you know what they do to naughty cubs on my home planet?' Spacecat asked.

'No,' said Amber.

'They chop a piece off their tail,' said Spacecat.

'And you're telling me this why?' Amber asked.

'To show you that smacking isn't so bad,' said Spacecat.
-

Spacecat decided to reverse out of the asteroid field. He made it out without a scratch but then he hit another ship.

'Ow!' said Spacecat.

When Spacecat woke up he was on a different ship. It was a lot bigger, and his explorapod was inside it.

'I didn't mean to hit you,' said the pilot of the other ship. He was a big Colgorane space trucker. 'But you were flying backwards across an intergalactic freeway.'

'I didn't know there was such a thing,' said Spacecat.

Spacecat got very upset when he saw what had happened to his explorapod.

'I'm afraid that's not going anywhere,' said the Colgorane.

'It doesn't belong to me,' said Spacecat.

The Colgorane was taking a cargo of pteronid eggs to a new farm on Gandahar.

'You've got to turn around and take me back,' Spacecat said. 'I'm chasing someone.'

'I can't,' said the Colgorane.

'Why not?' asked Spacecat.

'Because if I don't deliver these eggs they will hatch into baby pteronids and eat me,' said the Colgorane.

'Can you stop this ship and let me off?' Spacecat said.

'No, because your ship doesn't work,' said the Colgorane. 'Putting you off my ship inside that would be murder.'